Growing Up Being Bullied

I was in 6th grade and in a new school and found myself to be a tiny little fish in a big pond. My previous school I was well liked and had many friends. It seemed easy for me to make friends. When my parents decided to move my sister and I to a private school everything changed. I was the "cute" little mousy girl who didn't fit in with the upper class rich kids. I had only one close friend that year. We stuck together in everything. 

Each school day began the same way. Pull up and walk in with knots in my stomach because I knew that this young man, who was 2 grades above me, would block my locker and make me late for class. He had the upper locker above mine. He never failed to look at me, stand in front of both our locker's and purposely wait until the last bell rang before he allowed me to get my books. But he was just one of many that would taunt me. There were several occasions where young boys would send me letters across the classroom to "ask" me to be their girlfriend. Then I would hear the girls snickering. It was humiliating! My friend received some of that same humiliation. I never told my teachers. I didn't want to be viewed as weak! I had an inner strength that pulled me through. That same strength is ingrained in me today. Perhaps because I come from a long line of strong women in my family.

By the end of the year the same young man that taunted me and made me late for class became somewhat of a guardian. It was strange. I believe it was solely because I didn't allow my emotions to show outwardly. He became my advocate so to speak! I became the "cool" geek. Others began to lay off. I truly believe that my forgiving spirit smothered out their meanness. 

Looking back, I see how blessed I was for that quiet strength. Some are not that fortunate. Today I have a heart for reaching out to those who struggle with confidence issues. No one should have to endure bullying. Unfortunately there will always that bully in a crowd, but we should ban together to stop the bully!

Testimonial Tuesday: Chapters and #AntiBullyingMonth

This month being Anti-Bullying themed, my chapter leaders and I got to lead our 5^th-8^{t h} grade Girl Talk Girls in a few exercises and lessons that would help to capture the true meaning of what bullying is and it can be stopped. We chose the lesson “Gossiping” because even though this is not physical bullying, words can hurt and will stay with you forever.

 

We opened the meeting with donuts, tons of giggling girls, and blue nail polish! The girls all made the pinky promise not be a bully and to stand up for others when they see bullying happen. Afterwards, we split the group in half and discussed the topic of gossiping and how words can hurt.

To there surprise, many of them had gossiped about someone because they heard others gossiping about them.

 

In two weeks we will continue our bullying talk by signing the bullying pledge and posting them in the middle school building! So proud of my girls and my leaders and I love being a part of those amazing organization and seeing it change so many lives.

#AntiBullyingMonth: Getting the School to Stand Up

At my school, physical bullying isn’t a very common thing, but verbal, mental, or cyber bullying happens regularly. It happens a lot more often than people would think, but I think our school community does a good job of standing up to it or trying to stop it. Even if it is just someone saying a mean comment, people step in and shoot it down, or comfort the person.

It has gotten much easier to stand up to people since more people started doing it. Being one of the only people who used to stand up was hard, even if it was just nullifying the mean statement, because everyone would look at you weirdly. But now it is becoming more commonplace to stand up to bullies, and school has become a much nicer place because of it.

#AntiBullyingMonth: Not Allowing the Bullies Get to Me

A few years ago, I was bullied for being different. I did not look like every other girl at school. So people judged me without even knowing me. I reacted to the cruelty by "ignoring" it until it irritated me enough that I broke down crying one day at practice. My friend sat me down and told me I was awesome and beautiful just the way I am. She told me to forget about the haters because many people love me. She said those who mind don't matter and the people who don't mind, matter. It really opened my eyes that not everyone will like you or care for what you look or act like but you need to be happy; if you can accept who you are then that is all that matters. People will fall in love with what you are than what you think you need to be.

That day on I learned to be myself for two reason; everyone else is taken and so why should I hide my qualities from the world? Everyone is different and should embrace who they are because if everyone was the same we could not meet interesting and new people.

After that incident, I was not bothered by those bullies again because I was confident and I "killed them with kindness."  Being kind to people that are being mean to you is tough to do but worth it. It really confuses them and makes them forget why they bullied you. Self confidence and resilient really helped me through that time.

My First Bullying Experience

I remember the first time I experienced bullying first hand. I was in the eighth grade sitting with my friends outside for lunch, when all of a sudden a girl approached our table. I have to admit that at first I thought that she was coming to sit with us and I was a little surprised because she typically sat with her other friends.

As it turned out, she actually was not coming to sit with us, but instead when she reached our table she dumped the contents of the cup she held in her hand all over my friend. As my friends and I sat at the table in shock the girl uttered a half-hearted “sorry” and returned to her table inside. When I looked through the window, I saw her and her friends laughing as though what she had done was amusing.

It was then that I realized I had actually witnessed bullying and I was furious. Despite how I felt I did not take out my anger by seeking revenge on my friends behalf, but instead I helped my friend clean herself up and I consoled her.

Since that day I have vowed never to tolerate bullying. Everyday I try my best to practice what I preach by being myself and encouraging my peers to do the same not matter what anyone else thinks.

#NoDramaWednesday: No Longer Being the Bystander

When I was in middle school, specifically sixth grade, the girls in our grade were bullying a girl who had come to our school in the middle of the year. The girls would call her weird behind her back and exclude her from parties and sleepovers. Trying to fit in, I just ignored how mean the girls were. I chose the easy road and didn’t do anything to help the new girl. However, one day I was partnered up with the new girl on a project. At first I was hesitant, but then we got to talking and I found out that we had a lot in common. Soon we became really good friends. But still, the other girls would make fun of her. One day they were gossiping about her in front of me, but this time I spoke up. I told them I thought she was a great person and that they shouldn’t judge her because they didn’t know her. They immediately went shamefully silent, and I just walked away. To this day that quiet new girl and I are best friends. Never judge someone by what other people say. Get to know someone and make your own impressions. Who knows? They could become your best friend!

No Drama Wednesday: Standing Up to My Bully

Anti-Bullying Month is all about standing up to your bully and being heard.  There are three different types of bullying: physical, verbal, and mental.  All can happen in person, over the Internet, or the phone. 

Recently, I was bullied over Instagram, and it really hurt.  It hurt so badly, that I wanted to delete my account.  Then, I realized that I wasn't going to let this bully ruin my fun.  She posted a very mean comment on one of my pictures, but instead of giving her control, I responded back very nicely.  I told her I didn't want any drama, but I also let her know that I wasn't going to tolerate her mean comments.  By responding in a nice way, instead of a rude one, my bully's response changed.  Not reacting in a bad way can cause your bully to think twice about their actions.

So, whenever you're being bullied, try to kill your bully with kindness.  It worked for me and I am very thankful I took this route!

And remember, that no matter what anyone says about you, it is their opinion and not true. You are you and you should be proud of who you are!

Testimonial Tuesday: Julie Bernard

My experience with Girl Talk has been great! I love talking to the younger girls about anything, including what is going on in both our lives. Even though I give the girls advice, there have been times when they have actually helped me!

The reason why I help others is because it gives me a strong sense of appreciation that I have helped someone get over an obstacle or just help someone talk through a situation. I love the feeling that the girls come into the meeting with a sense of comfort and urgency to tell me how their day was.

A major issue I feel girls face today is bullying.  It can vary from verbal to physical ,which becomes very emotional to all girls. Other issues, as always, are boys and family issues. I feel strongly about all the issues they play a huge factor on self-esteem. I want all girls to be able to feel confident about who they are and never be afraid to be who they are. Embrace what you are given and try to be the best version of yourself!

Testimonial Tuesday: Sierra!

My experience with Girl Talk has been amazing. I love mentoring the girls and setting an example for them. It makes me feel great inside knowing that I’m doing something that will inspire others. 

The reason I am involved with Girl Talk  is simply because I love to see girls faces light up.  It is also a lot of fun! Today, middle school girls face a lot of drama, drama, and more DRAMA. The girls also have to face bullying, boys, and stress from school. I feel strongly on helping the girls get through all of the drama, especially when it involves friends.

Testimonial Tuesday: Chloe!

I decided to start a Girl Talk Chapter because I wanted to really make a difference before I graduate into a full adult. As a kid I was always bullied; I was the new girl at school who was socially awkward, chubby, and depressed. Along with having serious trouble and feeling isolated at home, I was isolated at school as well. No one wanted to be my friend. People were really mean, especially the girls; they were vicious gossipers and callow bullies My sister was the "popular" girl at school and didn't want anything to do with me. I was completely alone. I remember walking home from school once and having a band of girls follow me, calling me a "thing" and throwing foreign objects at me. I remember crying at home secretly because I was so lonely at school and I felt so badly about myself. I remember having my confidence destroyed by mean little girls who spent all their time thinking of new things to do to make me miserable. They made me believe that I was fat, ugly, unlikeable, stupid, and a bad person that didn't deserve any better. I even remember contemplating suicide. Every day I would record what those girls did to me in my journal. I still have that journal today with all the entries in it.

Why this is relevant today is that I strongly believe that back then, I really could have used some support and help to make my life less miserable. Maybe if I had had a friend, I wouldn't have developed that eating disorder (which is the long gone past), or resorted to making all the bad decisions that I made in the past. Having a friend or a safe spot to share my feelings, or some support, would have saved me so much pain and given me the little comfort I craved badly in the hell I was living in. I want to reach out to girls who are in the same position. So wherever they are, whoever they are, they'll at least have a little sliver of hope, of something going for them in their lives.

 

Sincerely,

 

Chloe

 

Everyday Inspirations: Tell Somebody!

 A Girl Talk Leader shares an inspiring experience from a recent Chapter Meeting.

Techdigit.com, 2013

The other day during a discussion at our Girl Talk meeting, one of the girls told one of our leaders that she had been cyber bullied. Someone had posted a mean status on her wall, and although she blocked the girl, other people continued to comment mean things. Our leader knew exactly what to do and brought the girls to our advisors- two different teachers at the school. The teachers then encouraged the girl and also had her write down all of the names of the people involved, even if they did not attend our school.

I wanted to share this inspiration to let all the middle school girls know that it is O.K. To come to a leader when something bad is happening to you or a friend. I know that it can be hard talking to a parent or a teacher, but luckily Girl Talk girls can go to a Leader first and they can go TOGETHER to determine what steps to take from there. We appreciate it SO much when you come to us because we are here to make a difference in your lives!

XOXO,

A Girl Talk Leader <3

"Happy T.H.I.N.K. Thursday!" from the Trinity Girl Talk Chapter

Today is T.H.I.N.K. Thursday! Yay! Kelsey Briggs, a Girl Talk Leader at Trinity Girl Talk Chapter, decided to do an anti-bullying video to promote T.H.I.N.K. Now, to hand it over to Kelsey!

        After a year of being a Girl Talk leader, I am still so inspired by the program and so excited by all of the opportunities that I've been able to give my girls through Girl Talk. We spent about two-three months discussing bullying, planning different bullying scenes, rehearsing and shooting. The girls loved being able to put their acting skills to use, but even more than that, they loved knowing that this video will touch the hearts of everyone who would watch it. It was shown at their school's assembly for a new bullying program, and we also showed it to the School Board. My fellow leader, Stephanie Glenn, helped me collect statistics and edit all of the clips together.

So inspired, Kelsey, Stephanie, and the Girl Talk Girls! I am in LOVE with this video! What an awesome way to use your talents to present anti-bullying tactics and T.H.I.N.K.! If you want to find more information about Girl Talk's National T.H.I.N.K. Campaign, please click here!

Are you T.H.I.N.K.ing today?!

Excited & Inspired,

Anne