I decided to start a Girl Talk Chapter because I wanted to
really make a difference before I graduate into a full adult. As a kid I was
always bullied; I was the new girl at school who was socially awkward, chubby,
and depressed. Along with having serious trouble and feeling isolated at home,
I was isolated at school as well. No one wanted to be my friend. People were
really mean, especially the girls; they were vicious gossipers and callow
bullies My sister was the "popular" girl at school and didn't want anything
to do with me. I was completely alone. I remember walking home from school once
and having a band of girls follow me, calling me a "thing" and
throwing foreign objects at me. I remember crying at home secretly because I
was so lonely at school and I felt so badly about myself. I remember having my
confidence destroyed by mean little girls who spent all their time thinking of
new things to do to make me miserable. They made me believe that I was fat,
ugly, unlikeable, stupid, and a bad person that didn't deserve any better. I
even remember contemplating suicide. Every day I would record what those girls
did to me in my journal. I still have that journal today with all the entries
in it.
Why this is relevant today is that I strongly believe that back then, I
really could have used some support and help to make my life less miserable.
Maybe if I had had a friend, I wouldn't have developed that eating disorder
(which is the long gone past), or resorted to making all the bad decisions that
I made in the past. Having a friend or a safe spot to share my feelings, or
some support, would have saved me so much pain and given me the little comfort
I craved badly in the hell I was living in. I want to reach out to girls who
are in the same position. So wherever they are, whoever they are, they'll at
least have a little sliver of hope, of something going for them in their
lives.
Sincerely,
Chloe
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