Simplify Your Life: The Girl Talk Guide to Decluttering Your Heart & Home

Last Saturday was “National Toss Away the ‘Could Haves’ and ‘Should Haves’ Day,” and it reminded us of the importance—and difficulty-- of decluttering and simplifying your life, inside and out.

We decided to share a few of our favorite tips for simplifying your life, but first, here are a couple of questions to think about...

• Does anyone else find decluttering exceptionally difficult? It shouldn’t be, right? It seems easy enough to decide that you don’t use or need something any more, and throw or give it away. Then why is it so hard?

• Why do we only think about getting rid of physical clutter that is in our way, making our daily lives more of a struggle? Why don’t we think about the emotional and mental clutter that we allow ourselves to live with and carry around?

Though there’s probably not one right answer to either of these questions, they’re certainly things to consider.

Maybe decluttering the physical stuff is hard because we’re afraid that we’ll need the things we get rid of and regret having given them away...or because we have an emotional attachment to them.

Maybe it’s that we hide behind the clutter—we use it as an excuse not to go after and do the things we really want. Having an excuse makes it easier to avoid facing our fear of failing at the things we want (and if that’s the case, let’s revisit our project of reframing failure).

Whatever the case, there's a reason that that bestseller book is called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.

We can all agree that the physical, mental, and emotional clutter can be overwhelming, and it isn’t helping anyone move forward to live the life they want to live--so how do we get rid of it? 

How do we simplify to make more room for what’s helpful and important to us?

 Here are some of our best tips for simplifying the physical clutter...

As for the emotional clutter, the negative thoughts and feelings that we carry around with us every day that weigh us down...

Let go and forgive yourself.

As women, we can “woulda, coulda, shoulda” ourselves all day long, but all that does is add to the clutter.

Lists can help here, too, but decluttering this part of your life can be even more difficult. It’s all about identifying what the clutter is, and letting go of it.

This won’t happen in a day either, but you can start any time!  Like decluttering in real life, you just have to decide to start.

We recommend writing down those negative thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc. to identify them, and taking a moment to reflect. While you’re reflecting on the negative, think about the positive, and decide what positive changes you want to make in the way you think and feel.

Write the positive changes down, and throw away the negative list. Literally! Let go of all that weight and refuse to give it the power to control you.

Then take another look at your positive list, and think about concrete ways that you can make those positives a reality. (Write those down too if you’re feeling really crazy!)

It may take some time to truly let go of those negative things, but you will feel lighter and it will make everything else feel more manageable.

Remember, however big or small your project, wherever you start, it will take time.

So remind yourself why you’re doing it—to simplify your life and make room and time for what matters to you. And allow yourself the time to do it, it’s not selfishness, it’s self-love, self-defense, and self-care. 

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Let us know if your find these tips helpful, and please share your own best practices for simplifying your life with us in the comments! 

Love + simplicity,

Katherine

#BeAFriendMonth: Friends have Compassion

Amber with her compassionate friends!

It is important to be a good friend as well as having good friend. Sometimes simply by listening to others and showing them compassion can go miles towards becoming a good friend.

Once I decided to talk to a friend and vent about a situation. I was just expecting her to listen. However, she went above and beyond just listening by providing me with advice. Her advice was very helpful and even helped my situation! I love my friends!

Amber is a senior in high school and has been a Girl Talk Leader since she was a freshman. She is also a member of Girl Talk's National Teen Advisory Board! Amber wanted to be involved in Girl Talk to help young girls get through tough situations.

#BeAFriendMonth: Be Yourself!

(L to R): Rachel and her best friend, who is someone 

she can be herself around! 

As I have gone through middle school and now I am a junior in high school, I have realized how important it is to have friends beside you. I have always been friends with a lot of the girl groups in my grade, but this year I have become very close with a couple of girls who are now my best friends. I have learned what it means to be a friend as well as have friends who support me.

I think the most important quality in a friend is being honest with each other. Someone who can make you laugh, someone who listens to what you have to say, gives good advice and someone whom you know will always have your back, no matter what. I am the kind of person who does not like rumors, and gossiping, and being mean with one and other—so I definitely say NO DRAMA!! Its important to surround yourself with people who aren’t looking for drama or trying to cut each other down.  

Just a simple smile may start a conversation and friendship. You never really know someone until you start talking to them- and you may realize that you have common likes and interests. Always be nice to everyone because everyone wants a friend! I know that personally--I have made a lot of friends who I never thought would be my friend just by starting to talk with them and learning more about them. 

 You must always be yourself because there will be people out there who like you for just the way you are- and those people will be your true, lifelong friends in life.

Rachel is a junior in high school, a Girl Talk Leader, and a member of Girl Talk's National Teen Advisory Board! She wanted to be involved with Girl Talk so that she could give back to her community, become a stronger woman, and voice her opinions. Rachel hopes to inspire girls with her involvement with Girl Talk.

#BeAFriendMonth: Acceptance

I think being a good friend has one key factor: being there for them when they need you the most. Knowing you can depend on them for anything from losing a family member to helping them solve a problem. Everyone needs someone and everyone needs to know they have someone to talk to and experience all situations in both of their lives. It might just be me, but I think friends are the people you are close with--family or not--to talk about a great day or a bad day. 

Another quality I think is in a good friend is accepting the friend for who they are entirely. A true friend wants to hang out with you, regardless of your issues, flaws, or the label others put on you.  Friends care more about who you are as a person not who others want you to be. They are not really your friends if they don't like you for yourself. Friends come and go but I think a good friend is there for you through thick & thin and accept you for all your qualities.

Julie is a high school student who wants to work with girls that can empower her as well as learn about others and see how successful women are in today’s working environment.

#BeAFriendMonth: How to be a Good Friend!

Rule 1: Be Trustworthy

            You can always trust a real friend.  They will not make promises they cannot keep and they will always be up front and honest with you. You can depend on them to have your back, even when you have made a big mistake or are in a horrible mood. They are consistent and you can trust them to always be there for you.

Rule 2: Be Able to Apologize and to Forgive

           

            An important element in friendship is being able to say you are sorry. Take responsibility for your mistake that has hurt your friend. Do not try to blame it on someone else. This shows that you are mature and are respectful towards your friend. Even though he or she might be angry for a while, your friend understands that you are not perfect. Also, a true friend will forgive you if you are genuinely sorry. Holding grudges, making someone feel guilty, and letting your bitterness build up are not something a friend should do. If you are angry with your friend, talk it out with them, hear their side, and once you have worked it out, let it go.

Rule 3: Be Honest

           

            Honesty is always the best policy: this is especially true with friendship. If you are honest with your friend, it will open up communication and make it so your friend feels like he or she can be honest with you. If something is upsetting you, be honest, a true friend will hear you out.

Rule 4: Be Respectful

           

            Good friends respect each other’s beliefs and values. To be a good friend, you have to make it so your friend feels as if he or she can express their opinions openly with you, without being judged. If there is a disagreement between you two, agree to disagree and move on. Always hear them out. If your friend needs time alone, be respectful enough not to pry and give him or her space.

Rule 5: Accept Your Friend for Who He or She is

            This is the most important rule to be a good friend! Friendship is all about having someone who shares in your mutually weirdness. Even if he or she is different from you, you should appreciate their personal perspective and experiences. To be a friend means to care deeply for someone, despite his or her flaw.

Katie is a senior in high school and is a Girl Talk Leader in her community. She is also the president of the Girl Talk's National Teen Advisory Board. Through Girl Talk, she hopes to impact women worldwide.

#NoDramaWednesday: No Longer Being the Bystander

When I was in middle school, specifically sixth grade, the girls in our grade were bullying a girl who had come to our school in the middle of the year. The girls would call her weird behind her back and exclude her from parties and sleepovers. Trying to fit in, I just ignored how mean the girls were. I chose the easy road and didn’t do anything to help the new girl. However, one day I was partnered up with the new girl on a project. At first I was hesitant, but then we got to talking and I found out that we had a lot in common. Soon we became really good friends. But still, the other girls would make fun of her. One day they were gossiping about her in front of me, but this time I spoke up. I told them I thought she was a great person and that they shouldn’t judge her because they didn’t know her. They immediately went shamefully silent, and I just walked away. To this day that quiet new girl and I are best friends. Never judge someone by what other people say. Get to know someone and make your own impressions. Who knows? They could become your best friend!

Testimonial Tuesday: Chloe!

I decided to start a Girl Talk Chapter because I wanted to really make a difference before I graduate into a full adult. As a kid I was always bullied; I was the new girl at school who was socially awkward, chubby, and depressed. Along with having serious trouble and feeling isolated at home, I was isolated at school as well. No one wanted to be my friend. People were really mean, especially the girls; they were vicious gossipers and callow bullies My sister was the "popular" girl at school and didn't want anything to do with me. I was completely alone. I remember walking home from school once and having a band of girls follow me, calling me a "thing" and throwing foreign objects at me. I remember crying at home secretly because I was so lonely at school and I felt so badly about myself. I remember having my confidence destroyed by mean little girls who spent all their time thinking of new things to do to make me miserable. They made me believe that I was fat, ugly, unlikeable, stupid, and a bad person that didn't deserve any better. I even remember contemplating suicide. Every day I would record what those girls did to me in my journal. I still have that journal today with all the entries in it.

Why this is relevant today is that I strongly believe that back then, I really could have used some support and help to make my life less miserable. Maybe if I had had a friend, I wouldn't have developed that eating disorder (which is the long gone past), or resorted to making all the bad decisions that I made in the past. Having a friend or a safe spot to share my feelings, or some support, would have saved me so much pain and given me the little comfort I craved badly in the hell I was living in. I want to reach out to girls who are in the same position. So wherever they are, whoever they are, they'll at least have a little sliver of hope, of something going for them in their lives.

 

Sincerely,

 

Chloe